


Handsome, Beautiful and Popsicles

by ShrimpyChan



Series: Kuya Hajime [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Filipino words and Phrases, Half-Filipino Iwaizumi Hajime, Kuya Tooru, M/M, Tagalog, kuya hajime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:50:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShrimpyChan/pseuds/ShrimpyChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi Hajime is half Filipino</p>
            </blockquote>





	Handsome, Beautiful and Popsicles

**Author's Note:**

> i got the idea of half filo iwaizumi from @elloquench and HQPH group chat on twitter. i am not affiliated with the aforementioned group chat :)
> 
> im sorry for being so lame okay i hope you enjoy reading lol
> 
> EDIT: I MADE A SLIGHT EDIT WHERE HAJIME MENTIONED HIS MOM TALKS TO HIM AND HIS DAD IN FILIPINO!! IM GONNA ADD A LITTLE SISTER FOR THE SAKE OF THE NEXT FICS THAT ARE GOING TO BE IN THE SAME VERSE AS THIS. =)))))

“Iwaizumi-san?”

“What is it, Kindaichi?”

“I heard from the other third years that you’re not pure Japanese. Is it true?” Kindaichi asked in the most polite way possible.

“Oh, yeah. I’m half-Filipino,” Iwaizumi said before taking a huge gulp from his water bottle. 

The other club members overheard the conversation, namely Kunimi, Yahaba and Kyoutani. They hesitantly inched closer to Kindaichi and stared at Iwaizumi as if expecting him to say more about the topic.

Iwaizumi noticed the sudden attention that was given to him. He looked around and saw four of his kouhais just standing there staring at him. 

Iwaizumi sighed and put down his bottle. He took the towel that was around his neck and started wiping his face. “My mom’s pure Filipino. My dad met her when he was touring around Manila with his friends.”

Everyone’s faces brightened up in excitement, except for one, Kunimi—who was keeping his cool as usual—and started bombarding Iwaizumi with questions.

“Woah, that’s so cool, Iwaizumi-san!”

“Do you speak the language? It’s Filipino, right?”

“Have you gone to the Philippines before?”

Oikawa, who was in the middle of practicing his serves, noticed the sudden commotion behind him. He turned around and saw his kouhais surrounding Iwaizumi as if they’re ready to pounce on him any minute. Oikawa, still holding the ball in his hands, made his way towards the group and peeked over Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“What’s going on, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked.

“Nothing. They just found out I’m half-Filipino.”

“Oh yeah! Iwa-chan is half-Filipino and half gay for me, right Iwa-chan?” Oikawa grinned and stuck out his tongue at the shorter male. “And also! Iwa-chan’s Filipino genes explains his beautiful tan and shortness. But despite him being short, he really has this natural brute force in him, as you all know. That’s why he’s our ace! Though he really is so short, right Iwa-chan?”

Everyone went dead silent. The four younger ones slightly backed away from their senpais because they could clearly see Iwaizumi’s forehead vein ready to burst any second now.

Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa. If looks could kill, Oikawa would be a pile of lifeless limbs right about now. Iwaizumi took the ball from Oikawa and smashed it at the center of Oikawa’s abdomen, causing the latter to double over in pain. 

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa one last time before turning his attention back to the four who were now staring pitifully at their captain rolling in pain on the floor. Quiet moans of “Iwa-chan, that hurts~” could be heard behind Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi rolled up both his sleeves before crossing his arms over his chest. He cleared his throat to get the four’s attention once again. 

“Yeah, I’m fairly fluent in Filipino. My mom talks to us in Filipino, so my younger sister and I ended up learning two languages. So in our household, we speak in a mix of Japanese and Filipino. And yeah, I’ve gone there once when I was in junior high during one summer vacation.”

“Can you speak a phrase or two in Filipino for us, Iwaizumi-san?”

“Uhh… Yeah. What do you wanna hear?” Iwaizumi scratched the back of his head. 

“How about, ‘I’m handsome’?” Yahaba asked.

Oikawa suddenly came into view again, this time his arm loosely wrapped around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. Iwaizumi tried to get him off of him but the taller wouldn’t budge.

“Oh, ‘I’m handsome’? I know that one! Iwa-chan taught me that!” Oikawa chirped.

“Hey, Oikawa, wait a min—“

“Supot ako!” Oikawa said in a very thick Japanese accent. “That’s what handsome is in Filipino, right Iwa-chan?”

Everyone was dead silent again. The four looked at Iwaizumi for any sign of confirmation for this new information but the only thing they got was Iwaizumi aggressively shaking right next to Oikawa. Wait, was he laughing?

The four were stunned right there where they stood. They could feel their cheeks heating up a bit. It’s not everyday they could witness Iwaizumi laughing so genuinely. 

“S-say that again, Oikawa. A bit louder,” Iwaizumi wheezed out.

“Supot ako? Supot ako! Supot ako! Supot ako!” Oikawa said loud enough for half the occupants of the gym to hear. 

Iwaizumi bursts in a fit of laughter. He held onto Oikawa’s shoulder so he wouldn’t topple over from laughing too hard.

“W-what? Why are you laughing? Is it the accent? Well, I’m sorry I can’t say it as perfectly as you do!” Oikawa huffed. He glanced at his four kouhais to see if they have any idea what’s going on but they all just shrugged at him, clearly having no clue themselves. 

Oikawa could feel that almost everyone were staring at them. He could also hear faint laughter to his right. Wait, why are Mattsun and Makki laughing, too?!

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whined childishly as he stomped his foot. 

Iwaizumi was still laughing, holding onto Oikawa as if his life depended on it.

Oikawa pouted and turned to the four once again. “Anyway, Iwa-chan also taught me something else in Filipino! Wanna hear it?” 

The four looked at each other for a moment before nodding in agreement.

“So, you know when you meet a really pretty girl and want to compliment her, right?” Oikawa asked. The four nodded. “Beauty means puta in Filipino! So when you compliment her, tell her she’s a puta,” Oikawa said in a matter-of-factly tone. 

The four looked at Iwaizumi who was now kneeling on the floor, his laughter no longer audible but instead replaced with shallow and sharp intakes of air.

“Oh, I remember another one! Popsicle means bayag, I think. Speaking of which, I could really use a nice, cold, bayag… I should buy one later. Do you think they have those large and ice-hard bayags down at the convenience store? I’d probably buy two. My mouth is so dry, I need to suck on some bayag on the way home. Do you guys want—“

Oikawa was interrupted when he heard loud banging on the wooden floor of the gym. Iwaizumi was gasping for air as he slammed his fist repeatedly on the floor as he laughed his ass off.

Everyone inside the gym were now looking at them. Mattsun and Makki were on their way towards Iwaizumi. The pair were chuckling at Oikawa.

“What are you two snickering about, huh?” Oikawa asked, his hand on his hip.

“Oikawa, I think you broke Iwaizumi,” Makki said as he pointed at Iwaizumi who was being hauled back on his feet by Mattsun.

“What? I didn’t even do anything to him! I was just telling my dear kouhais the Filipino words Iwa-chan taught me,” Oikawa scoffed.

Iwaizumi was now clinging onto Mattsun to keep himself from falling back down on the floor. “You really shouldn’t trust what Iwaizumi teaches you without researching it first,” Mattsun said as he dragged Iwaizumi towards the bench, Makki trailing behind them.

Oikawa was confused. He rolled his eyes at the three before turning his attention back at the four. Kyoutani, Kunimi and Kindaichi were now on their phones while Yahaba was just peeking over their shoulders. 

Moments later, the four laughed out loud. Oikawa would have understood perfectly if Yahaba, Kunimi and Kindaichi were laughing all of a sudden, but Kyouken?! No, there’s something up.

“What has gotten to everyone? Why are you guys laughing too?!” Oikawa demanded.

The four were clutching their stomachs from laughing too hard. The three handed their phones to their captain. Oikawa was confused but took them anyway. There, in the three screens, were the definitions of the Filipino words he learned from Iwaizumi.

Supot: Filipino term for a person who is uncircumcised.  
Puta: Filipino, Portuguese or Spanish for bitch or whore.  
Bayag: A man’s balls.

Oikawa flushed bright red. He doesn’t know if it’s from embarrassment or form fury. He shoved the phones back to his kouhais who were still laughing. He turned around and stormed towards where Iwaizumi, Makki and Mattsun were snickering to themselves, probably talking about how stupid Oikawa is.

“Putangina mo, Iwa-chan!!” Oikawa shrieked in a really thick and awkward accent as he ran towards Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi was quick enough to stand up and run away, still laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> idk i just had to write this to get it out of my system i hope you liked it???? <3


End file.
